the king prawn's pub 'n grill

Life is smelly in SA's urinal city

2007-02-14T09:22:00.000+02:00

I couldn't help myself when I caught Life's most rosy for people who live in Bloemfontein in this week's Sunday Times. Nice catchy succint title don't you think. Those crazy-cat newspaper editors and their puns. I had a stab at my own little one for this post. What do you think? An undiscovered career that's what. But I digress:PE was rated number 9 out of our 9 SA's major cities. Ha! It was in

News24

2007-02-05T09:12:00.000+02:00

Long ago I gave up on the journalistic quality of everyone's favourite online South African news source. However, like any good car crash neck-crainer, I still pull their headlines into my Netvibes page. Thusly, I was treated to the little Robbers take TV, but leave R2 gem. My spidey-senses tell me that's front page news if I've ever seen it. I particularly love how "after the men fled with her

Leeuloop

2007-01-17T14:35:00.000+02:00

My last made me think: "I wonder if someone has youTubed the Leeuloop?" And yes, someone had. It is a bit of a classic I have to admit. To the uninitiated - the Leeuloop is when a boyo drinks several pints of brandy, pulls off his pants, gives himself a mangina, and then walks like a lion on the bar counter. I never noticed it before, but check out the lion towards the beginning. It is doing the

Mad Snowmonkeys

2007-01-17T13:58:00.000+02:00

Lasse Gjertsen. Currently making quite a name for himself as a director of note on youTube and I think he's made a couple of commercials and the like in his native Country (Norway).Apparently the producer of this one went to college with Lasse. vonscratch's comment kind of paraphrased what I was going to say:Are you a singel man? I would like for us to engage in sexual relations maybe? I just

Bill Hicks

2007-01-17T13:36:00.000+02:00

Ok - I'm back and making a few posts. All youTube stuff obviously because the height of laziness is using other people's stuff and repackaging it as your own. Ha.Anyway, ladies, gentlemen and Knappy, I give you Bill Hicks. Dry as hell but never afraid to speak his mind. This is a clip of him performing on the Letterman show in 1991. It is frighteningly still all true. Enjoy.

National Day of the Ninja

2006-12-05T10:43:00.000+02:00

Black tights?A ninja at Ask a Ninja explains what to get the ninja in your life this Christmas.A tapeworm is not a good giftHappy National Day of the Ninja.

They're All About Honesty

2006-12-04T10:40:00.000+02:00

Ladies, don't know what to buy your guy? My gift to you this Christmas: Budgy Smugglers; the answer to all your gift buying needs.My personal favourite: ThrustersIf you can't afford an expensive watch but still want to looksophisticated

A Shameless Punt

2006-12-04T10:30:00.000+02:00

Hey kidsLadies and gentlemen I give you Matti Gair. Not only does he have the honour of knowing me; but he is also handsome and talented. And a couple of weeks ago he had the privilege of touching Smythers' package (skin on skin). What can I say? The man has it all.

The Unending Ability of People to Freak Me Out

2006-11-27T13:42:00.000+02:00

Ok - I was checking out some of the referrals to my page (I'm not conceited just curious, mkay?!) and one was from a Google search on "alisha keys" "hairy chest". I shit you not. How the blog returned a result for such a search is probably best left uninvestigated, whatever.What can I say? People have some weird sexual tastes. It's amazing what they are into when protected by the beautiful

PMS

2006-11-24T15:32:00.000+02:00

One more on this friday of joy and goodness.

Barats and Bereta

2006-11-24T11:35:00.000+02:00

These guys make me laugh. Almost as much as dismembered children in boxes.Check out Barats and Bereta for more.

Artix vs The Undead

2006-11-24T11:23:00.000+02:00

Disclaimer: Many undead were brutally maimed during the creation of this pilot video. Hahahaha. I am actually a ten year old.Check out www.dragonfable.com for more dragons and goodness at the home of the online RPG (role playing game - I'm not so much of a geek that I didn't have to look it up too)

Scissors for Lefty

2006-11-24T11:07:00.000+02:00

I first heard this song a couple of months back and have listened to it, on average, at least once a day since then. It is awesome.I have since spread the good word to a couple of people and been met with mixed reponses.The most notable negative comment came from Miss Amy E in an SMS: "For the record, i went and checked out that song, and its horrific." Strong words girly. I'm not sure I hold too

94.7 km of fun

2006-11-24T11:03:00.000+02:00

A quote which exists in the far recesses of my mind goes something like “We always seem in such a hurry to get to our destination, we seldom take care to appreciate the view on the way”. Or something like that. Maybe I just made it up. Whatever; it’s pertinent.To all the organizers of the 94.7: thanks for a fantastically organized event; it was slick like Magnum.To Wook for organizing the awesome

Friday Ramble 06/10/2006

2006-10-06T15:38:00.000+02:00

Today, I don't really have time to post. But I am going to let you in on a little secret that will change your lives: It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose. Well that is not so much a secret as common knowledge.So here's another: www.netvibes.com The most awesome content gatherer you will ever see.Join up. Click "add my feed". Type "http://kingprawnblog.blogspot.com/atom.xml" into

Diff Smashing

2006-10-03T12:00:00.000+02:00

The sun sits midway through the sky and beats upon the ground. It shimmers off the water of a pool. A playing card sits in suspended animation towards the middle of the pool and turns slowly. But let me begin at the beginning.A couple of months ago I came across a clear liquid in a Klippies bottle in our liquor cabinet. When I asked my Old Man about it, he told me it was a bottle of Witblits a

Quick Newsflash

2006-10-02T15:50:00.000+02:00

There is a website dedicated to people like knaps. Please read the stats.

My Old Man's Girlfriend Learned Me Good

2006-09-28T10:00:00.000+02:00

Rain is a form of precipitation, other forms of which include snow, sleet, hail,and dew. Rain forms when separate drops of water fall to the Earth's surfacefrom clouds. Not all rain reaches the surface, however; some evaporates whilefalling through dry air. When none of it reaches the ground, it is called virga,a phenomenon often seen in hot, dry desert regions. The scientific explanationof how

"The Hamster" Critical

2006-09-21T08:49:00.000+02:00

I was pretty bummed to wake up this morning to the news Richard Hammmond of Top Gear Extra is in a critical condition in a Leeds hospital.Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond is in a serious condition after being injuredin a 300mph car crash.The 36-year-old was filming an attempt to breakthe British land speed record when his jet-powered dragster overturned.Full story Two days ago I saw an episode

Spread the word, and the word is "ARRRR"

2006-09-19T09:47:00.000+02:00

Ahoy me buxom beauties!Yarrrr, I would love t' claim the title but alas, I cannot. That honour goes t' t' fine fellows who started talk like a pirate dayAvast! Here be a few little bits fram the offical site. Yarrr.Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?8.

Sorry brothers

2006-09-18T16:28:00.000+02:00

"You know what? Teazers has ruined guavas for me. They used to be my favourite fruit." - The Jan.[Ed Note: In case you have had your head in a bucket on Jan Smuts Ave for the past 6 months or don't use it - there is a Teazers billboard that features a nice ripe looking guava. I tried to get a pic but for once the internet failed me; and there are only so many variants of "Teazers Guava" I'm

GUUUUUUUUNERS

2006-09-18T09:31:00.000+02:00

I know it's really budget, but as excited as I am, I really couldn't be arsed.

A rose for my mum

2006-09-15T10:08:00.000+02:00

Love youd

Dr McNinja

2006-09-14T16:31:00.000+02:00

Long time readers of the Ramble might remember Dr McNinja. Smythers was reminded of him the other day when we were having a few drinks and so he reminded me and then the previous post reminded me of him reminding me (?) Anyway, without further ado Dr McNinja episode 3It has everything: love, hate, betrayal, a talking roast chicken, the origin of the slow clap and ninjas kicking pirates asses [ed

30 seconds you'll never have back

2006-09-13T16:40:00.000+02:00

Cruising myspace I found this crazy little gem. The title "real life ninjas" caught my eye because, well, ninjas are cool. Not as cool as samurai but cooler than pirates (I'll show you one eye, arrrr). Anyway, if you have 5 minutes to kill, check it out.

Perverts

2006-09-12T10:54:00.000+02:00

Hahaha. From time to time the hit counter on my site soars a little for no apparent reason; and being the curious little child I am, i check it out.Doing so, I came across a referral from a google search on "bloem schoolgirls video blogs". Dirty, dirty, dirty fuckin pervert.Google it. You know you want to.There we are, fourth from the top. I feel validated. Amongst other things. But I promise I'm

Friday Ramble 08/09/2006

2006-09-08T16:57:00.000+02:00

Hey people of the world.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sexual_slursDanny K is a sword-swallowing, pillow-biting sperm-burper.I first grew an interest in music in the mid nineties. It was around the same time that local rock music began emerging in the post-apartheid era. So my love of music grew to the soundtrack of those memorable, innovative, raw and generally lovable bands of that time.

Friday Ramble 25/08/2006

2006-08-25T16:46:00.000+02:00

Good afternoon party people.This week in the news: Hobbo isn’t gay. Ha ha. April Fools! In August.Knaps and I had a bet over the outcome of the Soccer World Cup Final. The dirty Waps won it for me. So…as much as he has been trying to avoid it, this weekend Knaps will be executing a little procedure called “washing The Tank in his tightey whiteys”. Video goes on sale Monday.Chip: hi buggggger!me:

Friday Ramble 18/08/2006

2006-08-18T15:32:00.000+02:00

Good morrow my cuzzies.A lovely little instant message I received this morn:Rowan: dudeneed to pooagainthink that chicken is getting friskyThis weekend it was Trivarsity down at Rhodes.“Let’s drink Crackling in honour”, someone joked.“Yes lets,” quipped someone else.“I’ll go to Spar,” chimed in a third.Assholes.Never again. Ever.http://www.ru.ac.za/alumni/reunions2.html just so everyone knows. If

Wonder Showzen

2006-08-17T14:27:00.000+02:00

What a show. Of wonder. And zen."China - where the flies are so friendly they'll walk right into your mouth and eat the dirt right off your teeth."Killing with kindness. Hahahahahahahahaha. Did that sound a bit manic? Sorry. Fweet.Love, kisses and kindnessJamo

Let Wel

2006-08-15T13:56:00.000+02:00

Hey kids.Awesome news... finally got damn ADSL working at the office about 3 months after moving in. Considering we are a software company and supposedly on the cutting edge of all things technological that's pretty pisspoor I guess. Moral of the story? Go elsewhere for your software needs. Actually the real moral is that Telkom really and truly sucks and we need another service provider in this

Memoirs of a poker night that looks nothing at all like a memoir and more like a couple of photos with arb comments

2006-08-15T13:33:00.000+02:00

As promised a couple of photos from the boys night the other day."One times beer to smash in my diff please"Oliver Twist meets Michael Stipe.Trucker convention."When is the diff smashing going to begin?"Hobbo. Just checking his guy is still there.Can you guess which lawyer just won all the chips?Handsome devilsThe other two were much handsomerDemonstrating the Cashian Principle: Concentration is

Friday Ramble 11/08/2006

2006-08-11T14:23:00.000+02:00

Greetings all. Sorry for the prolonged absence of your favourite pastime.Just a quickie – as I write this that horribly bad Damien Marley song has just come onto the radio. Could someone please explain to me amount the airtime that song is getting? Cheesy sax went out in the early 90s. Not even pornos have that dreadful shit in them anymore (so I’m told).And now for something completely

Nikki Monroe 14/07/1982 - 09/07/2006

2006-07-14T08:14:00.000+02:00

Dear MunnersThere is an empty seat at my table.A tragedy has come to pass and it cannot be undone. Today, I refuse to remember with tears and instead will do so with a smile. In the grand ballroom of life you were never to be found in the corners; a small girl who had the ability to completely fill a room with your irrepressible passion for being. Always quick with a smile and slow to hold a

Friday Ramble 31/06/2006

2006-07-01T05:00:00.000+02:00

Friday Ramble: 31 June 2006Saturday - right up there with worst days of my life. Let me begin at the beginning:In the beginning the earth was without form and void. Ok, maybe not quite so far.Friday evening rolled around is it is want to do. I was very excited. Fridays excite me. Roberto Mac was back in town from being an eternal student at UCT so I hooked up with him and Labs for a beer or two.

Friday Ramble 23/06/2006 (Happy Birthday Mommy)

2006-06-23T16:06:00.000+02:00

The Ramble is back and kickin more ass than Eric Roberts.Photoshop is an incredible piece of software. Check out how handsome I can make myself look:Dan has been telling me for ages about a program on MTV called Wonder Showzen and I had the privilege of seeing it last night. It's put together in the vein of early Sesame Street and that kind of jol. But man is it twisted. 3 scenes that made me

Monday Melancholy 19/06/2006

2006-06-19T08:02:00.000+02:00

Welcome to the rebirth of the Ramble. Or as Miles Davis styled it: the rebirth of cool. Miles was quite a cool guy for someone who liked to blow his trumpet. Fuck. Sorry. That was poor. Maybe I should start that all again.Sorry for the prolonged absence of your favourite Friday pastime; Knappy broke it and I haven’t had a chance to fix it until now.The real reason for the sabbatical is two-fold.

What happened to the Ramble?

2006-06-02T15:08:00.000+02:00

I have a few theories…1. Knappy’s gravitational force became so large that it sucked Jamo into an uncontrollable spiral until he crashed head first into the big pile of red ooze rendering him helpless and without the ability to talk crap.2. Knappy sat on Jamo unknowingly and squeezed all of Jamo’s creative intellect from his skull, after which time it was absorbed by the red ooze.3. Rowan changed

Our Matthew is Becoming Famous

2006-05-03T11:42:00.000+02:00

Hi allGo check out the Gair and listen to his songs. He is talented, and will become famous one day soon. So just go and check it out, a'ight?!www.myspace.com/matthewgair

Friday Ramble 28/04/2006

2006-04-26T14:09:00.000+02:00

MY WEDNESDAY RAMBLE THAT MOST WILL ONLY READ ON FRIDAY, OR MORE LIKELY, NEXT TUESDAY, EVEN MORE LIKELY, NOT AT ALL. So. Is this the time for my revenge? Mayhaps, mayhaps not. Nonetheless, you are my audience for the next little while. Ha ha! There is no escape. Just please be patient with me, I am not nearly as witty as our young Scottish friend. Nor am I a poet like Jamo is. I came across

Ye Fookin Beauties

2006-04-26T09:03:00.000+02:00

GUUUUUUNNNNNNERS!!!!!!!!Not even a really kak ref decision could keep my boyos out of the Champions League Final 2006. Ha.Going down to Mozambique at about 1am tomoorrow so that friendly red furry thing is going to do the Ramble honours. Enjoy. Check you all in 10 days.Love, Kisses and Rum and Raspberry.Jamo

Friday Ramble 21/04/2006

2006-04-21T11:56:00.000+02:00

Welcome to the worst ramble ever.They say you are what you drive. I’m not sure exactly who ‘they’ is but no matter. I guess I am a little bit like my car: well-worn, not taken care of as well as it should, has a few problems, but it gets the job done (I was going to throw in ‘all the petrol attendants ask how much it’s selling for’ but…). Anyway, I discovered this Easter weekend that I’m like

Stop all the clocks

2006-04-18T14:08:00.000+02:00

Brett Goldin, EsqI never had the privilege of meeting you, but as we foot skated the streets of life, I felt I knew you. To the world of the irreverent you will be sorely missed. I know that the words “Hi, I’m Brett Goldin and this is drinking orange juice right after you’ve brushed your teeth” will be etched into my mind forever. Thanks for the laughs and being a poster boy for the

Friday Ramble 14/04/2006

2006-04-14T10:06:00.000+02:00

Ola.We’re not trying to break the fabric of society; just give it that worn inlook.This is not some paradiseOh…it’s just where we livePretty arb weekend so not much to tell.I did have the pleasure of having a long drunk conversation with the right honourable Rum. The man who put the “erection” in “pedophile”. Only kidding. He wouldn’t touch a child. He just likes to watch. The man who invented

Hooray for Boobies

2006-04-07T10:37:00.000+02:00

Happy National cleavage day.May those that have them, flaunt them;and those that don't, appreciate them.I for one am a fan.Bless them great and small.Enjoy the rest of the day party people.Jamo.

Friday Ramble 07/04/2006

2006-04-06T23:59:00.000+02:00

Good moaning.A Letter to the BirdsDear Sir/Madam:A matter of great concern has come to my attention.Every morning when I come to rouse the beautiful heap of metal that is my Mercedes 230E 1982 123 series from her slumber beneath the trees I find her shrouded. Would you kindly desist from laying your fecal imprint upon my motorized carriage.The immensity of the guano on my windshield leads me to

Friday Ramble 31/03/2006

2006-03-31T00:08:00.000+02:00

Hi kiddies,On Saturday I went to a ball style thingy which was largely populated by Old Rhodians. It was fun. Anyway, during the course of the evening I had one of those moments with a girl where you look at each other and there is recognition that you just can’t place. A few beers later I ended up talking to her and even managed to remember her name (unusual for me since I’m notoriously good

Friday Ramble 24/03/2006

2006-03-24T11:25:00.000+02:00

Greetings fellow earthly voyager,The Colab concert. What can I say? I will quietly ignore the obvious gripe about not being able to get a beer, any refreshment or food all day because it sucked, but hey – I dealt with it. I must admit that at one point I was concerned I would see the inside of the medical tent for dehydration but then I drank some water out of a toilet bowl and was ok. I have

Friday Ramble 17/03/2006

2006-03-17T00:59:00.000+02:00

Horns up!!!I can’t wait. Metal Thrashing Mad!!! Well that was Anthrax, but you know what I mean.Rise up my fellow maniacs,Please do come in for tea.Join in all brother weirdo cracks,‘Tis time for us to be.Holy hell what a week.Since last we met:Friday –Baked the meanest Mocca Chocolate Cheesecake in history.Made the meanest Curried Butternut Soup in history.Mourned my tragic loss to metrosexual

Monday Losers 13/03/2006

2006-03-13T11:59:00.000+02:00

It turns out that if you spend the afternoon nervously drinking wine while watching South Africa pull off the most remarkable sporting comeback since last year’s Champions League final you will probably not be as sober as you might imagine. When the first of the Sunday lunch guests leaves to go to church you should probably treat it as a sign. But I didn’t. I was too excited. I went to the Irish

Friday Ramble 10/03/2006

2006-03-10T00:32:00.000+02:00

Good day to you, people of Ramble Land. I hope your journey from one ramble to another has treated you well.GUUUUUNNERSSCOOOOTLANDcatsCheck out this wicked cool pic:It’s not been graphically altered or anything; it is a genuine photograph. It’s based on an idea Adelbert Ames Jr. created in 1946. The girls are normally sized, but the room isn’t. The room is an abnormal six sided figure, but our

Friday Ramble 03/03/2006

2006-03-03T20:55:00.000+02:00

Yes, well I can see it’s stuck Knaps, but the question remains:- what were you doing putting a turnip there in the first place? Oh…hello there. Please do come in.It was one of the best sporting weekends in history. Ya, so the Cats and Arsenal lost. But Scotland the Brave beat the Pommie wankers. I almost shed a tear of joy. Ok, so I did. Oh ya, and we beat the Aussies. Twice.Scots Wha HaeRobert

Friday Ramble 24/02/2006

2006-02-24T01:48:00.000+02:00

Good day gentle folk.Welcome to the Mariah is a classless whore episode.ONE SWEET DAYBy William Brody4 amThere she lay at my feet. Mutilated. Her fake nails still imbedded in her palms where she had dug them in from the pain.2 amShe stood on the corner as usual, leaning against the traffic light, trying to turn one last trick before calling it a night. Her face changed colour with the traffic

Friday Ramble 17/02/2006

2006-02-17T02:22:00.000+02:00

Welcome back to me.Cape Town was wicked cool. While everywhere else in the country was knee deep in puddles, that place was cooking every day. What a damn pleasure.Sit back and let Uncle Kingprawn tell you a few stories.On about the second day I went on a little wine tour with Don Rob, Commie Bastard and Bunda. It was honestly one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life. Constantly

The Story of the Poo and the Road

2006-02-17T02:19:00.000+02:00

A long, long time ago, in a country not that different from our own, a young man went on an adventure. The adventure would take him deep into the cultural heartland of the country, and would change him forever. It is a tale of trial and tribulation, of hardships and elation. First, however, I need to give you some background information. There is this pub in the city, which sells cheap pizza

Friday Ramble 10-02-2006

2006-02-10T12:27:00.000+02:00

Friday Ramble 10-02-2006Good day to all. What a wonderful Friday it is.I am sure you have heard that Ekurhuleni Municipality has approved an application to change the name of Johannesburg International Airport to OR Tambo International Airport. The motive behind this is blindingly obvious. Municipal Elections are around the corner, and the ANC would like to show “the masses” that someone does

Monday Losers 06/02/2006

2006-02-06T12:25:00.000+02:00

Never again.Saturday started just like any other; waking up on a solitary couch cushion at The Palms after having been put to the sword by the Laburn’s hospitality and then finished off by the Crazy Ukranian at the 5th Leg.And then suddenly… I found myself at ‘The Playboy Mansion Digs’. That might be a gloat from most other digs’ but in this case a jacuzzi and bar complete with silver bar fridge

Friday Ramble 03/02/2006

2006-02-03T12:26:00.000+02:00

And a good day to you…First things first, honourable mention to William for nailing the trivia: It was the Propellerheads from the album DecksandDrumsandRockandRoll. Nice one son. Also I called him about an hour ago and he was busy taking the day off because he had made a spectacle of himself at the work function the night before. Loving your work squire.I went along to watch the filming of Corne

Friday Ramble 27/01/2006

2006-01-27T14:29:00.000+02:00

Good MoaningLast Friday was 5th Leg just for a change. The score is Crazy Russian Lady 8 – 0 Us. I somehow ended up with a bottle of wine at 6 in the morning playing Playstation by myself. I’m not proud of it, but hey. A phonecall from my Old Man woke me about an hour after I got to sleep, telling me I needed to be at home to let some artisan or other into the house. I was a mess. There I sat at

A Tall Tale

2006-01-27T14:23:00.000+02:00

Introduction:That was probably one of the most different weekends that I have everhad in the 23 years, 2 months and 6 days of my humble existence. Itstarted by watching Kill Bill 2 on Friday night, the brilliant secondhalf of an excellent film. That in itself (watching Kill Bill) doesnot seem strange, other than the fact that it was the first time thatI have watched a movie on a Friday night in a

Friday Ramble 20/01/2006

2006-01-20T09:00:00.000+02:00

Good morrow gentle folk of Ramble Land.I have decided to become a celibate homosexual; it’s not going to require as much of a lifestyle change as you might imagine.It never ceases to amaze me how music can transport me back through time. It invokes memories better than a photograph. As I write this I am listening to Skid Row. Std 5. Angst-ridden teenage-hood. They had long hair. They swore. The

Edwin the Conqueror by William Brody

2006-01-19T14:00:00.000+02:00

The distinctive invigorating smell that warns of a storm permeated our little house. I pulled back a pointless lace curtain that my mother insisted was stylish, and squinted outside. Though it was dusk and very little could be made out with any distinction, I could see a little creature of a man scurry for cover. I recognized his awkward step and somewhat sub human figure.

Friday Ramble 13/01/2006

2006-01-13T13:16:00.000+02:00

Right, now that that pesky holiday thing is out of the way – back to the slog; well for those with jobs.First Ramble of the new year and on Friday the 13th. If that isn’t a premise for a slasher movie, I don’t know what is. All I have to do is find some hot friends; moving right along…It’s really been so long since I’ve written this thing that I can’t even remember what has happened since the

Friday Ramble 16/12/2005

2005-12-16T00:00:00.000+02:00

Welcome to the season finale of the Ramble; the final edition before its sabbatical – who knows, it will probably be the last ever if I know anything about myself. The existence of a Season 2 depends on YOUR VOTE, so get commenting to let me know if I’m just wasting my time here or if there are in fact certain parties who read and are amused. There are only so many Knappy jokes anyway – well only

Just a Quickie

2005-12-14T13:38:00.000+02:00

Just a bit of admin nonsense...Just edited the Players section a bit. Put up some new pics. Also, apparently some of the old photos weren't working properly and the images were too big and taking a while to download so I reposted them all and made them smaller. Some of the new ones aren't great because they were all taken by me.Lots of people have promised pictures but not made it happen - don't

Friday Ramble 09/12/2005

2005-12-09T08:41:00.000+02:00

Good Morrow Genteel Folk,Eish, it’s been so long, I’ve forgotten how to do this.Shot to Smythers for guesting and keeping true to the spirit of the ramble. I have a couple of replies and additions to make.I have to tell you that although Knappy may have laughed at my little tumble into the cesspool (as would I, were the roles reversed), I have to be honest, that one hurt in the morning. The worst

Kiss Me

2005-12-08T14:30:00.000+02:00

The 5fm Hi 5@5 claims that it will play whatever songs receive the most votes. It's time to test it.Two Mariah songs AND two Black Eyed Peas songs on the same top 25, is a bit excessive.To help the cause please SMS this text "Hi5 Indecent Obsession Kiss Me" to 33345.Do it because you are taking a political stance against the pre-packaged pop rubbish that the popular media force down your throat;

Friday Ramble 02/12/2005

2005-12-02T09:18:00.000+02:00

Knappy and Jammo had their birthday braai on Sunday. It started wonderfully with the sun shining down on beautiful bikinied bodies, beer and (nearly) Boerewors on the braai. But then, as so often happens in Joburg in summer, along came the rain and washed the party out. Well not really, but it did dampen the mood slightly. However, it also forced everyone to congregate around the bar (good

Friday Ramble 25/11/2005

2005-11-25T10:16:00.000+02:00

So none of the guys lost to the Impoverished Teacher to Be in the 94.7. I have to be honest I had set aside a whole paragraph in preparation for this week’s ramble in anticipation of that occurrence. But alas, even though I am the world’s most brilliant man, I still cannot predict the future. Well done to all those crazy bastards and bastardesses who took part in the epic cycle. I had a nice nap

Friday Ramble 18/11/2005

2005-11-18T09:23:00.000+02:00

It was RJ Knappy’s birthday yesterday and in his honour I promise only to say nice things about him.I have a planet sized hangover just for you my guy.Language is a weird thing. When you break it down, it is something that was basically constructed so that people could communicate where the best mushrooms grew, and I guess it had it’s origins in grunts. To a large degree men still communicate in

The Planet Sized Man by William Brody

2005-11-17T11:59:00.000+02:00

IThere is a room; not a very significant room. Just an ordinary room – could do with a bit of maintenance now that I think about it; the plaster on the ceiling is spawning mould and starting to flake so the floor looks like it could do with some dandruff shampoo. In fact, the original plasterer did a terrible job in the first place; it looks like he plastered it with a scrotum. I would have made

Friday Ramble 11/11/2005

2005-11-11T12:43:00.000+02:00

A certain Scal person, who shall remain nameless, faceless and dateless, sent me an email telling me that people need to learn how to use email properly and not hit ‘reply all’ to the ramble. You are annoyed, isn’t? ‘Reply all’ has done its job.Violent Femmes were all I hoped they could be and more. Right up there with the Hogs and Finkelsteins concert where we moshed until Knappy fell over and

Friday Ramble 04/11/2005

2005-11-04T12:02:00.000+02:00

Hello paisans.I would like to congratulate Hobbo for receiving the Good Citizen of the Year Award:Me: Hey Hobbo, how was your Friday night?Hobbo: Eish, it was big hey. Got so wrecked I couldn’t drive.Me: How did you get home?Hobbo: I…drove.Glad to know you are out there keeping the roads safe for all of us, my guy.Smythers told me an interesting story; he went to his girlfriend (The Impoverished

Friday Ramble 28/10/2005

2005-10-28T11:47:00.000+02:00

Ah, sometimes I grow so tired,But I know I’ve got one thing I got to do…Once upon a time there were a gravel. When the gravel were young, he was taken from his happy home with his parents, mixed with some bitumen and put to work as a road. As time went by and many, many cars drived over him and he began to come loose in the bitumen, until one day – he comed loose altogether. Then, as more cars

Friday Ramble 21/10/2005

2005-10-21T11:43:00.000+02:00

The alphabet according to my stream of consciousness:A: is for the Alpine. I think they won some Anastasia reality competition, but they are still cool.B: is for Mrs. Bredin who told me he wants to drink so hard that he vomits until his lungs bleed. One ticket to that show please.C: is for cunt. Best word in the English language. Say it with me: cuuuu…D: is for Durex. Wrap it up chaps; wrap it up

Friday Ramble 14/10/2005

2005-10-14T11:36:00.000+02:00

Last Friday I was cruising home and feeling pretty stoked with myself for surviving another week. Getting off the freeway, I thought I would just nip into the emergency lane to avoid the queue turning the other way. As I did it I saw her – a big fat pig. Of course she pulled me over and started giving me a bit of a lecture about what if an emergency vehicle was coming and it collided with me and

Friday Ramble 07/10/2005

2005-10-07T11:24:00.000+02:00

I think my brain leeks out of my ear at night, so I’m a little low on ramble today; sorry.Was driving to work the other day , when I saw a guy driving a beetle done up like Herbie. You know the car in that new Lindsay Lowhore movie? Right down to the ‘53’ painted on the side. It was a little sad. Scratch that, it was appallingly sad. It did get me thinking though (for a moment): how cool would it

Friday Ramble 30/09/2005

2005-09-30T08:42:00.000+02:00

Good afternoon people of the flock. I’m feeling a little bit lost for inspiration for today’s ramble. Sorry about that.Lets see… big excitement in Jo’burg because of the imminent Rhodes Reunion. It’s for the people who graduated after ’86 so maybe I will find myself a nice thirty-something lady who’s just listed her company on the JSE and wants a youngster to throw money at. The more likely

Friday Ramble 23/09/2005

2005-09-23T16:02:00.000+02:00

I was driving home yesterday and I saw the most ridiculous thing. A middle aged white guy driving some sort of Nissan sports car. Ridiculous? No, not really. What was was that his personalized license plate was “BLING”. Dude, it may be a relatively nice car, but in no country, under no circumstance, unless maybe you are in rural Japan does a Nissan constitute “bling”. Drive that into Harlem and

Friday Ramble 16/09/2005

2005-09-16T15:29:00.000+02:00

The moment of the week I know you have all been anticipating.There is an ad on the radio for some medical aid company at the moment and their angle is something like “We capture all the information you send. Electronically!” Not for the first time in my life, I can’t help but wonder at the capacity people have to be gigantically stupid. I mean talk about a company on the cutting edge of

ReadMe

2001-09-15T00:00:00.000+02:00

For those who stumble into this site and want to know what the hell is going on…Fridays are a day that I traditionally can’t work because I get a bit excited about the impending weekend; as opposed to the other days of the week when I cannot work because I’m an idle fool. Anyway, in preparation for the weekend ahead I am wont to reflect on the past week in the river of life that has just flowed